Then I accidentally run over someone and they're dead. I know it's all smoke and mirrors, but everything about Watch Dogs 2's San Francisco feels legit. I've milled about Fisherman's Wharf, sat cross-legged on Pier 39 and even visited Alcatraz. I just want to cruise the streets of San Francisco, drive along the beach as the sun comes up, or speed toward downtown, towering skyscrapers lighting up the night sky.

I don't care about picking up research points or hacking into cameras. I ignore the mini-map and its many icons. I've been to San Fran a few times, once for a fortnight on honeymoon, and so it's been a thrill to drive around, sightseeing, rekindling warm memories with my wife. I'm a lone wolf and I'm using my hacker skills to, well, mess about in the city.Īnd what a city! Ubisoft Montreal's San Francisco is a wonder, a huge area packed with incredible detail. I've ditched the main missions because I couldn't care less about the story, and I've ditched my hacker headquarters because I can't stand the guy with the stupid LED eyes. It tries too hard to be cool.īut! I'm finding the fun, just not in ways I imagine most other players are. For me, Watch Dogs 2 is an eye-rolling hot take of a video game.

Now, 20 years later, I listen to DedSec characters Marcus, 'Wrench', Sitara and Josh chat about hacking the planet in the basement of a board game shop in San Francisco and I can't help but think of that 'How do you do, fellow kids?' meme. I mean, hacking was cool in 1996 when Jonny Lee Miller and Angelina Jolie were trolling each other in high school. I can't stand the characters, the dialogue is cheesy and the hacker culture the game portrays is 20 years too late. Watch Dogs 2, Ubisoft's latest open world adventure, annoys the hell out of me.

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